“A study published last month in the Journal of Sex Research found that men view the female orgasm as an opportunity to confirm their manhood. These findings, courtesy of two University of Michigan researchers, suggest that men who think sexually pleasing women is important are really doing it to please themselves.”
I would agree with that but not necessarily for the same reasons. Lots of men also actually just find the whole female orgasming thing a major turn on, seeing their partner aroused, hearing her moans etc.
One thing i like about BDSM, its more about the journey less about the destination. Less expectation and pressure in the traditional sense of sex, more about the mental/emotional/headfuck and experiences, including physical.
I’ve never cum from a caning, but cane me and there is no doubt about where i am and what it does for/to me… 😉